ESB for Seneschal in 2029? "A Chat with the Wisecracking and Controversial Figure," by Munditenens Tresplet

Last year, Eovart Andrinescu began the ever popular Talossa2031, a journal chronicling the future of our great Kingdom. Following "Charlie Slane's" (a fictitious person) now infamous 2022 headline "NEW NATION SECEDES FROM U.S.! ," Andrinescu began leaking bits and pieces of information that he would collect during his trips in the Talossan Time Machine. Unfortunately, perhaps due to a breakdown in the space-time continuum, he leaves us in October of 2027, after Talossan forces successfully occupied the city of Sandusky, Ohio. We've all been wondering what the future entails since this last entry, and now, a year later, we may have a bit more insight into the future of our nation, though from an unlikely source: Eiric Bornatfiglheu.

"The 2029 political landscape is particularly haunting given the renewed presence of King Robert I." Bornatfiglheu revealed to me, "Ever since scientists put his brain into a jar and hooked it up to the Abbaville mainframe... things have just been a little wonky."

Elric S. Bornatfiglheu was convicted of sock-puppetry in August of this year following his somewhat controversial return to the Kingdom, and was sentenced to a $100 fine, 500 hours of community service, and 181 months of civil disability. Fifteen years of restriction from the Cabinet, Royal Household, and the Ziu would be enough to get many down, but not Bornatfiglheu. Since his sentence, he has done nothing but look forward, volunteering as a TalossAssistant to our new immigrants and petitioning for their citizenship, opining on the latest current events, and getting a head start on his campaign for a Bornatfiglheu-led government in the year 2029. He's even already paid his fine!

Given the sometimes erratic ebb and flow of new citizens arriving to our Kingdom, it could be a problem when trying to predict vote counts fifteen years in the future, but Bornatfiglheu isn't fazed. "I don't forsee an immigration jump between now and 2029. Or, at least, not an unusually large jump." he said, "People will still come to Talossa in the same amounts, and leave in them as well ... I think immigration can remain healthy if the Regipats remains active and gets the word out strongly... especially in the traditional press." He also notes that retaining the citizens simply a matter of getting them involved in something that they enjoy, and getting them hooked. "In my work as a TA, I hope to help the country grow as well." Although his leadership is, at best, 1) several years in the future, Bornatfiglheu voiced his thoughts on what he considers to be the most important issue that the current da Schir-led government (and governments in the near future) face: "trying to climb over the technocratic hump that plagues small nations like Talossa."

"You see, Talossa is bound more by small group dynamics than large group dynamics." Bornatfiglheu remarked, "This is what makes it different from the other nations of the world." He notes that in smaller groups, the power or authority often rests outside of the elected leadership, usually with what he calls "technocrats", or those who know how to "keep the wheels turning". He writes that this can turn into "a matter of 'don't piss off Ted. He knows how to get the furnace lit.' as opposed to Ted's leadership actually making a difference."

Before you start lining up at the ballot box (which I suppose would be MPF's doorstep, so dress warmly - it can be cold up there this time of year) to cast your ballot for #Bornatfiglheu2029, it's worth noting that he expressed his own doubts about whether the Talossa of the future is even ready for his leadership, even if he "stood a snowball's chance in hell."

"I am a criminal," he wrote, "and, though the majority of the population may not remember, that still doesn't change what I did. Or, even setting that aside, it doesn't make me a fit leader." When he recalled his times in the former Republic, where his disastrous term as Seneschal had him lose the confidence of members of his own party and he found himself kicked out of office, he wrote, "Seriously. It was moribund and just plain bad."

Personally, I found his straight forward answer to be inspiring. Even former United States President Nixon, after resigning in the wake of a disgraceful scandal, and being pardoned by his former Vice President, looked David Frost right in the eye and uttered the now infamous phrase "I am not a crook!" While feelings might still be raw in today's Talossa, who knows what the political and social landscape of our nation fifteen years from now will look like? Perhaps, even though he doesn't think so, wel might actually be ready for Bornatfiglheu leadership.

Until that time comes, however, we won't really know. And, as he quickly reminded me at the end of our interview that "the Bornatfiglheu campaign is just a joke, so there is no need to be nervous."

I and my sock drawer are planning no future power grabs. I am too busy drilling them into a ballet corps for a puppet staging of the Berber of Seville."